Smoke and mirrors

women.I can’t help but sometimes dislike that I have the ability to see the good in people, to look beyond actions, analyse, and create probabilities as to why they say and do things untoward.   Is it because I don’t want people to be bad? That the harsh reality of people’s selfish nature is simply too much for my good willed personality?  Sure I have a harsh side but I’ve never gone to great lengths to hurt someone.

Trust is such a precious gift so easily taken advantage of these days, as if its readily replaceable.  It takes but a moment to take and so much time to rekindle.  Or perhaps that’s why people break it to hurt others – they know how painful broken trust it, its gut wrenching.  It’s that sick feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when something goes seriously wrong.  In saying this its almost always done via text – its must be so easy not to say it to my face.

Indeed I have meet so many others from dating sites that are clearly so burnt and weathered from previous relationships that they are now made from porcelain.  So scared they are of shattering they develop massive offense and defense mechanisms that go of with the slightest breeze.  Have they ever wondered though that one person’s mistakes are not another’s?


Eyes wide open

playerI dislike getting played…A lot (I’m sure no one likes it), one reason of course is the other person isn’t honest about what they want.  The thing is when you first meet someone you tend to ignore some red flags that might pop up.  In my recent case the room could have been painted red and I wouldn’t have seen it.

Why was I ignoring the red flags?   Well it’s funny thing, it seems that where people work can have an effect on how much you trust them.   So when a policeman comes along I mistakenly pushed aside any warnings and hit the ground running.

So here is the play book, I fell for the “I want to be exclusive with you” scenario.  What that really meant was exclusive until I get what I want.  It really does open your eyes when you on the other side of emotional manipulation, people can actually talk their way into the bedroom.

So what hope is there for me if I can’t see the forest through the trees? A chain saw?

I don’t know if you know who you are until you lose who you are…

cow-girlYou know what I’m talking about, you date someone, you end up doing things they want to do and spending time at their place.  At first its awesome and exciting, new…whatever and then you realise that they are avoiding coming to your place because you don’t have cable.

I’ll admit the fact that I got to watch Tosh.O every tight was almost worth not being in my own bed.  On the other hand guys who live on their own don’t really have the same house hold ways as women.  I always herd the saying “it needs a woman’s touch” but I had not come across an example where this was hideously needed.

So when I broke up with crazy evil ex and started spending time at my own place, I realised I missed it.  Also try this – try not wanting to impress the opposite sex – it means you get to wear what you want!

You don’t really know someone until you break up with them

I like to think I am a good judge of character, I’ll admit though when I like someone I do have my love goggles on and some things will slip through the cracks.  A complete flick to a different personality though is quite a shock in mid argument with a partner.

crazy-manFrom “I love you” to (and this is a true quote from my ex) “1 more thing b4 I go 4 good your a heartless bitch and I wish I had never met u I don’t love you at all I never did I hate u good riddance”.

So want to know what I did?  I said I wanted to think about things….4 hours later after no contact he dropped everything I ever gave him at my front door and sent me that text.

The day after text “I miss you”…oh ok so you’re crazy – how did I miss that?  How do people hide this so well in a relationship?  A little grey cloud comes along and BOOM crazy town!  So in light of this new experience I had recently, I do not want to date at all.  Which is a good thing I know since a break from it all is probably what I need right now – just a holiday from living in Crazy town.

You just did what in my mouth?

Upset girlWhen your beginning to know someone in the bedroom it can be hard to get a grasp of likes and dislikes, I get that.  I think this is where dirty talk before any action comes in handy for instance whispering in a guys ear “ I can’t wait for you to take control of me in the bedroom” denotes I like a man who will take the lead.

But not once have a said to a guy “Id like to taste your cum in my mouth unexpectedly please”.   Power to other women/guys who like this but I’m clearly not a fan.   I dated this guy for a while and things were getting a heated in the bedroom and me being the pleaser that I am I started to go down on him.

No more than 10 sec had passed and with no warning what so ever he came in my mouth.  I have never been so shocked by an act in the bedroom.  I could help my instant reaction of running to the sink and spitting out what was in my mouth and looking for some sort of hospital grade cleaner to deal with the taste.

What just happened? Had things changed in the bedroom edict department and I didn’t get the memo?  So I asked “why didn’t you warn me? “, the reply: “I didn’t think I had to”.   So this guy is 29 and he claims all of the girlfriends except one he had been with are happy to do this and one even got him to change his diet so she could taste it in his cum.

“So for the main meal I’ll have the Cum with a twist of lemon thanks.”  Look I’m not a prude ok but I don’t do everything in the bedroom either.

An awkward date

This story is going to sound made up but believe this is the sort of thing that happens to me all the time – hence the blog because I need to share this my crazy life.

Man in a car with a shocked expressionOk so I was dating this guy for a while and was trying some a little kinky (thank god this blog in anonymous).  He was driving my car, it was night time and we were in suburbia driving down some empty streets.  So I reached over and started to tease him a little and rub his pants.

This eventuated into zip down and out of pants action.  So I offer to go down on him while he is driving and of course he said yes – who wouldn’t right?  As I started doing this he stops the car with jolt – so I think, damn I’m good this guy can’t even drive right.

To my dismay he had hit a small animal (possum) while I was doing my thing.  It was amazingly awkward and sad – and I’ve never done it since!  We stopped the car, the animal had died, and this guy couldn’t bear to go near it but insisted I move it off the road.  So I looked in the recycle bin of the nearest house grabbed some cardboard and moved the animal onto the footpath – yep I’m the man!